2 posts in two days! I already hear the gasps of surprise.
This blog is in fact a story, a ridiculous story I wrote to amuse Daniel on msn, the things i do for that boy! (Daniel's interruptions are written in italics) So feel free to read it if you are in a nonesense mood with little to do and please excuse the lack of punctuation. It needs a title, hmm what about..

Percy the Whale and the Quest for the Hold Rail! (not very original I grant you but oh well, originality is not my forte)

well once upon a time
there was a whale
a green whale who loved to cook jelly
who went in search of a friend
any flavours in particular?
red
definitely
ok
though lime too
anyway
lol
it swam on its way
until it came to some rocks
that gleamed like diamonds
and glittered on the roof of the world
just then
it evolved legs
and crept out of the water and into a deep dark cave
down it went
down and down
did i mention this whale's name was percy?
nope you didnt
well it was
so percy
continued downwards
he went so far that he met himself coming back up
hello percy number 2
how strange he thought
just like a parallell dimension
filled with green jelly
haha
ahh just like that great jelly he had made this morning
great green jelly
he decided to hire a balloon
he had always wanted
as a young whale
to explore the heavens in a bright balloon
and so he did
the man was rather astonished about serving a whale with legs
but nevertheless treated him with great deference
for in this world green jelly was more precious than gold
and the whale had lots of it
and jelly can buy pretty much anything these days
so the whale chose a balloon
a red one
no perhaps a blue one
like the sky
but wait!
the sky was no longer blue but orange
oh well sighed the whale
i always though that blue and orange went well together
because one must keep up appearances you know
you can't go ballooning in just any old balloon
what would old aunt milly say
she would shake her tale
and mutter
the whales of today
always hijinking about in those lurid coloured balloons
what will become of us
that is what i would like to know
but anyway
percy was undisturbed by worries of his great aunt as he rose majestically
over the dessert
a desert of dessert
mounds of ice cream melted slowly in the hot sun
as lizards bathed in pools of custard
is this story safe for a sugar addict
haha but of course
lol
do continue
you are so gracious
ahem
higher and higher rose percy
majesticalaaally
his pink pantaloons whipped in the breeze
(because he was also a very well dressed whale
for his age)
higher and higher
and the world shrank beneath him
soon it was no bigger than a pin prick
and percy began to get worried
i wonder where the brakes are
he muttered to himself
but just then
just as the story may have lost momentum
a lazy cheetah
appeared in the air beside him and grinned rather alarmingly
the whale
being a whale
was not very frightened
there is very little that a whale has to be frightened of
except cows for some mysterious reason
percy had, in his younger years,
many nightmares about cows playing trombones
and it was only now
right at this moment
that he realised the significance of that dream
but of course!
he exclaimed to the no longer grinning cheetah
why it was all about trombones
that was my destiny!
to become a trombone player in a jazz band!
but he looked sadly down at the earth
which had pretty much vanished by this stage
along with every known trombonist in the universe
(you may find this hard to believe but the trombone is only played on one small planet in the entire universe, everywhere else an instrument of its exact size and shape is used in a rather bizarre type of croquet)
a butterfly flittered past the whale and the cheetah
and the cheetah caught it in his jaws
the whale was shocked
and angry
think of the damage you could do!
that butterfly carries the wisdom of the ages
and a small briefcase
with an alarm clock
for the times when even the wisdom of the ages isn't enough to get you out of bed
but the cheetah merely resumed his grinning
and with one crunch
crunch
swallowed the wisdom of the ages
oh well
murmured the whale
it probably wasn't all that wise
when i come to think of it
but now
he said to the cheetah
what shall i do next?
i have seen the dessert deserts of gredbyulo
and viewed the mountains of dumbukil
in all their glory
and of course i journeyed under the ancient seas of Swedell
so what should
i
as a not extremely large whale in a blue balloon and pink pantaloons
do now?
the cheetah merely waved his tail airily and said
well
if i was you
i would duck
right now
because coming towards poor old percy
was a
cactus
and they can be quite prickly you know
the cheetah winced in remembrance
but this story has no point!
percy yelled
if i do not go anywhere
what i need
he said
is a quest!
Yes
like the hold rail
the quest for the hold rail!
because stairs can be awfully dangerous for little old ladies without them
and what is this universe without hold rails for little old ladies i ask you!
percy struck a heroic pose as trumpets blew
but the cheetah merely licked his paw
it's already been found
he said
what?
percy deflated
the hold rail
i hate to tell you this
and put a hole in your very impressive blue balloon
but it was a few years ago
they've all been solved
all the quests
there aren't any more
no more quests?
but what is a whale in a balloon supposed to do without a quest?
ahh that is the question
said the cheetah
when i was young whales in balloons would constantly be rushing past on some quest or another
but im afraid there have been too many
what aboutt... a quest to find a quest?? asked percy hopefully
nope
that’s been done
said the cheetah
and i know where you're going
the quest to find a quest to find a quest
has been done
and so on
he flicked his tail dismissively
there is really nothing for me to do
now that i think of it
said percy
why are you here?
floating above the vanished earth?
i am the sphinx he said
and looked a little ashamed
i know im not very scary
especially to a big whale like you
but those stories just kept growing and growing
i couldnt stop them!
did you see the giant sphinx statue in eygpt?
oh yes!
said percy
welllll
that was me
in my youth of course
he coughed
i seem to have shrunk with age
but percy was getting bored of the old sphinx and decided to strike off in search of a quest to find a quest to find a quest to find a quest to find a quest
at some point, he thought, there must be one
hiding somewhere
and wherever it was
he would find it
so he struck another, slightly less courageous pose, and turned his balloon around to face the void in front of him
goodbye cheetah! he cried
and floated away

...

La fin

Well there you have it, the illustration up the top is supposed to be Percy in a balloon, unfortunately, due to my poor illustration skills, he looks like a frog, please excuse this. And please feel free to continue the story haha, perhaps it could be continued on other blogs. I have a great fondness for percy though, so don't let anything horrible happen to him.